my family rocks!! Life and Times of Mrs. C

I know I say this everytime I take a break from blogging but I cant believe its been so long since Ive been on here. Maybe a goal for myself will to blog a few times a week until I get back into the swing of things. So since my last entry we moved out to Az. Its ok here but we are definetly looking forward to moving again in a few years. There really isnt much in town but lots of trails and things if your into that sort of stuff. All the good shopping and restaurants are in the bigger cities like Tucson. Though I have heard the winner of Hells Kitchen 1 is from here and opening a restaurant in town. Im not sure when it will be open but I did see the sign for it. We have made a couple friends since being here but havent gotten together much with the holidays and such. Shaun seems to like his job though he is in school until April. Kiley seems to be catching up in school which is great. They dont offer a prek program here like they do at Hood so next school year we will have to pay out of pocket for Sam to attend the cys version of pre school. Hard to believe that in just a few months both kids will be in school. I never thought that day would come lol.

Since moving Ive been cooking alot more and trying a bunch of new recipies so maybe when I blog I will blog about that as well. For Christmas I tried new recipies from The Pioneer Woman and they were all fabulous! Ree really knows what she is doing.

The holidays were nice except our power went out for 9 hrs on Christmas day. Other then that we enjoyed being able to spend the holidays together. We even took the kids bowling late night for New Years Eve. They seemed to have a good time.

Little Kiley bears birthday is in 6 days. Hard to believe my baby girl will be 6 yrs old already. Time sure did fly and I hope the next 6 yrs dont pass as quickly. Her personality is so cute and she is so outgoing. Most say she is just like me.

Other than that we have just been getting settled in here. We are enjoying our down time before our crazy busy summer arrives. More on that in blogs to come.

Id like to take a minute to remember my mother in law Victoria Pugh who passed away 1/21/1999 from her battle with breast cancer. Though I was never able to meet her I have heard great stories about her and I know she is looking down on all of us with a smile on her face. I know she would be proud of the man her boy grew into and Id like to say thanks for instilling all his great qualities. He is truly an amazing man thanks to her.

Peace&Love,
Mrs.C

What a busy weekend it was for us. Saturday started out bright and early getting everyone up and ready to have family pictures taken. We drove to Star,Tx (about an hr and a half from here) to meet with my friend Sasha. We had the option of her driving to us but Im so glad we drove to her because just from the preview we love the pics. Once the picture session was over we drove back home and packed our bags. My mom was nice enough to watch the kids for us so Shaun and I could enjoy some time alone.From what I heard the kids went to Gattiland and also to see Grandma Carol and had a great time.

My birthday weekend was amazing. Shaun and I headed down to Fredericksburg,Tx where we rented a Cabin at the Spotted Pony Ranch. After we checked in we headed into town and walked up and down main street. They have a million cute little shops and it was really relaxing. We went into one store where they had over 400 sauces and jams you could try. We ended up buying some pumpkin butter, rocky road fudge, and some to die for pumpkin pie fudge. We also went into this furniture store and fell in love with this coffee table. I tell you if we just had $3,500 sitting around we would have bought it for sure. We were shocked that alot of the stores closed at 5 or 6 pm. So once we were down looking around we hopped in the car to find somewhere to eat dinner. Someone had mentioned they heard the Cotton Gin was a good place so that is what I chose and it was delicious. We sat outside and enjoyed a little waterfall and our food. It was very romantic. Shaun had surf and turf, I had Tasso Chicken, and for dessert we had a chocolate mosse and it was heavenly! Once we were down with dinner we drove back into town to see if we could find a movie theatre but no such luck. We did find a bowling alley that was tiny, but did the job. We bowled two games and headed back to our cabin. The next morning we woke up and got ready for breakfast. Right across from our cabin we 5 or 6 horses in the pasture. We had breakfast at a nice little restaurant that was in an old german hospital. The food was great and price was even better! Shaun had some duck hash and I had eggs italian. After breakfast we got in the truck and headed out to Enchanted Rock. I was really excited to go but once i got there I felt like I couldnt do it. With encouragement from Shaun I made it all the way to top. I surely couldnt of did it without him. We stayed up top for a few soaking in the views. Around noon we decided it was time to head home and get the kiddos. The weekend was truly relaxing, romantic, and what we needed. Oh I cant forget that Shaun surprised me with some Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses! I love them!!

This morning I woke up to Shaun being home way early from PT and cooking breakfast! Now its nearly 10 am and I need to get my butt off the computer and get to cleaning. My birthday dinner is tomorrow and I cant wait to celebrate with the family.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Wow I seriously need to make more time to blog! Since last week things between Shaun and I are great. I dont want to jinx us but it seems like we are finally back to "normal". He finally seems to be coming out of his GI JOE mode and back to the family man I love! We have enjoyed some great quality time over the past week. He did call about the marriage retreat but it was cancelled...boo! We finished cleaning out the storages last weekend...GO US! We gave my sister a couple more tubs full of stuff for her apt. Shaun surprised me w tulips last week. He sent me some while he was overseas and I fell in love with them but we can never find any good ones at the stores. So one day he came home with some. It was super sweet. We have been doing lots of shopping lately. He bought me the dress I wanted to wear for my bday, a dress to wear to my cousins wedding, and we got a steal on a suit (minus the jacket) at Macys. TRU was having a good sale this week so we went and got all the kids Christmas presents minus some books and the dog. Oh yeah thats right I said we are getting them a dog for Christmas. I cant wait to see the kids face Christmas morning when they see it.

I got my hair dyed yesterday (dark brown) and I love, love, love it! Shaun says it looks great so that is always nice to hear. Its a nice change from the red (my natural) color. Saturday we are having our family photos done by Sasha and then we are dropping the kids off at my moms. Shaun has put together a nice little getaway for my birthday this weekend. We are going to Fredericksburg! Then Tues is my birthday. Shaun went and had a custom cake made and I cant wait to see what it looks like or what it taste like! He is so amazing and I am so lucky to have him in my life. Its hard to believe that next week will already be Oct. All we have left to do before our big move is get rid of some things in the house. The movers will be here right after Sams bday.

Robbie should be here a week from today to take the kids for the weekend. We shall see if he follows through. It would be nice for the kids to see him and nice for Shaun and I to get a break.

This week a friend of mine lost her baby at 16 wks and I cant even imagine the pain she is going through right now. I read through what she could remember and it was so heartbreaking. I was devistated when I had my miscarriage but it is nothing compaired to her pain. On a brighter note my brother in law called us a couple days ago to say that he and my sister in law are expecting baby number 2!! We are beyond thrilled for them. My nephew Ryne will be 8 in Jan so its about time for a new baby. I told Shaun that its time for a round of new grandkids lol. Harold (Shauns dad) has the following gradkids, Ryne 7, Emily 7, Kiley almost 6, Sam nearly 4, Harley 3, and Grady a couple months.

Another month has passed and we have yet to get a BFP, but I think Shaun has finally realized he is ready and its time to stop pissing around. I had been feeling sick days prior to AF so we bought a test and took it mon only to get her a few hours later. I was sad and I could tell Shaun was as well. With the news of BIL and SIL's pregnancy later that day it must of really sunk it to Shaun that its time. He even put on his FB status "Is elated with the news from my brother...now for one of my own!". So lets hope this next month will bring good news for us. Things are finally starting to all fall into place and I couldnt be happier. Hope everyone is well.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Wow its already the middle of September! Where did time go? I havent been on here in a little over a week...bad me. Not to much to report. Kiley is still doing good in school. She seems to be doing ok in her new class. Sam is still Sam, but its hard to believe he is almost 4. Shaun and I are still the same. There was a marriage class but he didnt call and get us in it so guess we will just have to wait until we can go to another one. The army finally fixed his pay which was nice! Lets hope there arent anymore mess ups.

Last night Shaun and I watched Army wives and it really hit home for us. Roxy was unsure she wanted to have a baby but yet Trevor was pushing for one. Pamela asked Roxy why she was unsure and said that Trevor loved her boys more then anything and would still love them the same if they had a baby together. I often have the same thoughts as Roxy and Shaun is well aware of them but he is soo much like Trevor and I know he wouldnt love Kiley and Sam any less if we did have a child of our own. As for any other baby talk we havent said anything. Of course my mom keeps harping on it but I try to ignore her. For right now we are just leaving it up to God and when he decides its the right time then we will be happy.

The other day I came up with a brilliant plan to have my new car paid off by 1.5 yrs from the time I get a job in Az (barring no baby comes along). I really thought Shaun would be more excited when I told him but he really seemed uninterested. The day prior I made a bracelet and was so excited to show him my masterpiece and again uninterested. So when it happened the 2nd day I made it clear that I was tired of him raining on my parade.

On the 11th we celebrated 2 yrs since our first date. He had the day off so we started the morning by going to Kileys school for the Rememberance Parade. After that we went to Austin and it was pouring rain. Some how we made it to the mall in one piece and did some shopping. I was introduced into a new store Torrid so that was the reasoning for going. They didnt have the dress I had been eyeing but I did get a shrit from there and Shaun said he would be buying me the dress later today online. We had on okay lunch and picked Sam some stuff up from ON. He picked out a dalmation costume for halloween and got 2 new pairs of pants and 3 shirts. We went to Macy's and I they were having a sale so we checked out some stuff. I have been wanting the Fiesta pitcher for awhile but first they didnt have the color I wanted or it wasnt on sale. Well that day we looked at a clearance table and sure enough the pitcher I wanted was there but not the color. After seeing it was already marked down 50% from its original price and then it was an addt'l 40% off that I couldnt resist it. I also got some Fiesta salt and pepper shakers for the same reason. So for both items I spent $23 which is less then half the cost of what the pitcher would of cost if not on sale.

The hwy was closed down due to flooding on the way home so luckily my mom was able to pick up Kiley from the bus. We all went out to Tx Rd House because my dad was in town. It was very good not to mention my dad picked up the tab lol. Saturday it rained again. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and it was yummy! After that we came home and watched football. Shauns team lost and mine won! We had chicken fried steak at my moms as its the family favorite. Sunday we spent the majority of the day finally going through the storage rooms outside. The small one is completely done and the large one is almost done. We plan to finish it out this weekend. We gave three huge boxes full of house stuff to my sister and there are tons of boxes to be disposed of and our trash can is full. I was very proud of us for not only going out there and getting it done but for getting rid of so much crap! The first few weeks of Oct will be spent decluttering the inside of the house prior to the packers coming. I cant believe its almost that time.

I hope that this week passes quickly and that it is a good week for us.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Its Hump Day! My mom is heading out to Co this weekend to give my cousin my old car and though I decided not to go because she is flying back the more this week progresses the more I think I might just go. It would be nice to have a break away from Shaun (yeah I said it) and for the kids to see their dad. This month will mark 3 months since Shaun has been back and I feel like we arent getting any closer to who we were before he left. Most the time I just feel like Shaun is here to eat, sleep, watch tv, and shower. He sees the trash is full but does nothing, sees the dink has dishes but does nothing, seeing clothes needed to be washed or folded and does nothing. Granted he has been getting better but its like seriously why cant we just get into a groove that works for us. Even though I stay at home I need more help! On top of all the normal crap between us there is the baby issue. Let me tell you that issue is like a big fat pink elephant in the room.

When we were dating I made it clear that I wanted more kids and he had no problem with that. Last year we accidentally got pregnant but I had a miscarriage and it seems like that really doesnt bother him. While he was gone we agreed that when he got back we would start trying right away. I knew it would take longer to get pregnant then it did with the other two going in yet it still was really hard the first month to see I wasnt pregnant. As I was about to find out last month I started the conversation with Shaun about waiting. I had valid points as to why we should wait and he agreed. We agreed that we wouldnt actively try until middle of next year but that if it happened between now and then we would be happy. Well the past few days a few of my friends have announced they were pregnant and it has left me with a feeling of jealously. I am happy for them dont get me wrong but I have never wanted to have a baby more in my life. I had Kiley because I wanted someone to love me who wouldnt leave me and had Sam because Robbie wanted a boy incase he died while he was in Iraq(yeah we were lucky we got a boy!). I want a baby with Shaun because I love him more then I have ever loved anyone, he is a great dad and husband, and I just want to share the miracle of life with him. It has been a sour subject for the past couple days between us and I brought it up again this morning. Guess how that turned out? Horrible! He says he wants to have a baby but isnt on a time line like I am and honestly didnt seem to care if it didnt happen for 5 or 10 years. I know that he comes from a family that has waited to have kids but I had Kiley at 19 and I am about to be 25. I dont want my kids to be 10 years apart for crying out loud! I just dont know what to do anymore. He says that if I want more kids then great and if not he will be ok with that too. Though he doesnt seem to want to actively try for a baby now. I so desperately want him to be excited and say now is the time for a baby but he is emotionless! I told him today that I wouldnt bring it up again (though Im sure I will) but I know one thing and that is I wont be in my 30's having kids.

One thing I know is that I am so greatful to have my two wonderful children. I know that some people cant even have 1 so I shouldnt be bitching about wanting to have more. They have got me through some really tough times and I love to more then they will ever know. Only time will tell.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Sorry Ive been MIA for a few days just been a little busy. This weekend was a nice change of pace then we've been having! Friday night I started my book "Dear John", by Nicholas Sparks and read half of the book that night. I probably could of finished it but Shaun came home and since I wasnt in the mood to talk to him I stopped and went to bed. Bad me I know but sometimes its just better. Saturday I fixed the kids breakfast and went back to reading my book. After a little while Shaun came in to say that he bought us VIP tickets to the Margarita Salsa Festival....SURPRISE! I was shocked!!! He even arranged for my mom to watch the kids. So we went and picked the tickets up, drove back home to drop off the kids, and away we went for a date night. I was so excited to be able to see Corey Smith live that the tension between Shaun and I seemed to melt away. I was a little shocked at the price the vip tickets cost, but Shaun said he really felt like doing something nice and the money didnt matter. Once we got to the Festival we went into a huge tent were they showed us our table and the bar. It was nice because vip included unlimited drinks (alcoholic and non) and tons of yummy food. They informed us that we got a gift bag but it would be wise to take it out to the car as some people might steal it if left on the table. Once we did that we headed out to the normal area to get ready to see Corey Smith. We went over to the merchandise booth where I got a pink Corey Smith koozie! Shaun had only heard of 1 band out of the four that were to play but he was a good sport! Corey Smith came on and did an awesome show! I love his music and at the end of his set Shaun said he liked him as well. We went back into the tent and had some dinner while Randy Rogers Band played. We went back over to the merchandise tent where Shaun bought a Corey Smith CD and I had hoped to see Corey Smith over there but no such luck. We alternated between hanging out in the tent so we could drink and going out to the crowd most the night. Cross Canandian Ragweed came on and it was so nice to feel Shaun's arms wrapped around me and for us to cut loose and dance. The food was so delicious that we couldnt stay away for long and kept eating. They had an auction going on so we decided to check it out. I bid on a kids basket while Shaun just looked around. Kevin Fowler came out and rocked the crowd. I think most people were there to see him. The auction ended at 10:00 so about 9:50 we went back in to see what the prices were on things. Shaun bid on a harley basket, and a marble cutting board for me. My bid for the kids basket was out done and I didnt feel like it was worth more then what I bid. We also looked at the higher priced pieces and Shaun saw a Muhammed Ali and Michael Jordan piece that no one had bid on so I told him to cross out the bids on the other items and bid on it. He did but at the last minute someone out bid him by $50 and Shaun said he didnt want to bid any higher. He did however go back to the marble cutting board and place a bid. Just as he was writting the auction ended so we knew we won. All in all it was a great night. All the tension between us wasnt there, we got to cut loose, enjoy great food and music, and supported the Arthritis fund ALOT!

Sunday morning we went over to get the kids from my mom and it seemed they had a good time. My mom and sister took them to Ghattiland (sort of like Chuck e Cheese) and then to my grandma's for swimming. After that we went to the grocery store and just laid around the house. Much to my surprise the feeling of saturday night was still there between Shaun and I. I finished my book and it was amazing. Shaun even watched Army Wives with me! Sunday was really a good day for us.

Monday it was back to the grind. Up and at em bright and early. I will give Shaun props because he was saying and texting the sweetest things and really trying to keep up what we had going. I was just in a mood Monday and I feel bad because no matter what Shaun tried it just didnt work.

Tuesday came and it was basically just like Monday. Shaun did get to have an extra long lunch and we went to Panda Express. The tension between he and I was back though so it really didnt make for a good day. I really hate this feeling! Kiley had another good day at school and brought home a weeks worth of work they had done. I really like they sent it home now because last year they didnt send it home til the end of the school year.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C

Its finally friday!! Kiley made it through her first week of kindergarten on all greens! She seems to really like her teacher so far which is good because I hated the one she has last year. Shaun came home today with a ticket that was issued to him TWO months ago!!! Apparently they mailed it to his unit (reasons unknown) and they just gave it to him today. Needless to say the deadline to pay the ticket had passed so we had to pay a lovely late fee on top of the ticket. Not a happy lady with the army this week. I had lots of energy this morning so I washed dishes right after I dropped Kiley off for school, did some laundry, and even mowed the yard. Though I had plans to sweep and mop the floor mowing the yard took so much energy out of me I fell asleep while Sam was eating lunch. I suspect it has to do that I totally skipped breakfast and lunch even though I had a few snacks. This weekend seems like it will be pretty uneventful due to the issues we have had with the army this week. I was really looking forward to the Margarita Salsa Festival tomorrow but oh well. Im sure we will spend the weekend cleaning up, maybe going through some of the storage, and folding the mountain of clothes we have in the back pantry.

So for the first time I am admitting that Shaun and have been having some issues since he has been home. Before he left we never fought and always enjoyed being with each other, but lately is a whole different story. They had to speak with a counselor today and he told me that he told him we hadnt been connecting since he has been home and they suggested we attend a marriage enrichment class in a couple weeks. I agreed. Deep down I am mad at him. Before he left and even before we married I asked him if he would come back crazy and he promised he wouldnt. He assured me he had been deployed twice before so if he was crazy I already knew it. Things between us were great up until his soldier was KIA right before he came home. Ever since then he has been so different...so distant and disconnected. Anytime I try to bring it up he thinks Im blowing things out of porportion, but I think he forgets that I have already been married to a soldier who came back from war different so I know the warning signs. I love Shaun more then I have ever loved anyone and he is such a great man I just wish he would realize that it wasnt his fault his guy was killed. I really feel like if he could let go of some of his anger/hurt then we would be much better. Im not throwing in the towel but life lately has been very hard to pretend to be happy. Most days its like Im talking to myself. I can only pray and hope God will guide him to the help he needs. Once he heals himself then we can start to heal our marriage.

This afternoon he came home to say his platoon was having a get together and he would be getting a plaque but that he prefered to attend by himself. I feel as though he is ashamed to have me for a wife even if thats not the way he feels.

I think I will let the kids have a sandwich and chips for dinner and I will start reading a new book to keep my mind off things. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Peace&Love,
Mrs. C